Effective Ways to Change Your Thinking

All of us have certain thought patterns, and they often show up in the lifestyles we live, the decisions we make, and the things we say, whether good or bad.   We also have dreams of what we'd like to see come to pass, or we may be living with the feeling of a life of defeat.

If you have a positive pattern of thoughts, and look forward to goals and dreams for the future, then great!  The world needs people like you!

If you have a negative pattern of thoughts, and feel like you will always struggle thru life, then you may be one of the voices we hear saying, "It's just the way I am."

I don't believe that we'll have success in changing everything we think, but I do believe we absolutely can change some of our thought patterns for the better.  Even if you've had disadvantages in life that have led you to a negative way of thinking, you can change for the better in some areas.  

Whether you believe me or not, changing your surroundings can change your thinking.  Ask yourself these questions:

• What kind of books do you read?
  
• What kind of music do you listen to?
  
• What websites do you visit?
  
• What kind of friends do you have?
  
• What kind of programs do you watch on TV, or listen to on the radio?
  
• What places do you visit in your city?
  
• What are your role models?
  
• What foods and drinks do you keep in the house?
  

• If you are a fearful person, make sure you aren't reading horror stories.  Read something funny, uplifting, positive, or inspirational.
  
• Do you listen to depressing music?  Find something light and refreshing to listen to.
  
• Do you visit websites that tell of all the doom and gloom in the world?  Find something positive to pump into your brain instead.  
  
• Are your friends negative, always talking about how wrong everything is, how no one will ever get ahead, how we're all falling apart, etc.?  I don't really believe in just dumping people I care about, but I can control how much time I spend with them.  Find someone who is a go-getter to give you a different perspective on things.  In fact, find several!
  
• Do you watch and listen to gloomy programs?  Turn them off!
  
• Do you hang out in depressing areas of your town?  Find some new places to visit, and take a different route to avoid being tempted to visit the old places if you have to drive by them.  
  
• Are your role models good influences, or a bad ones?  Pick someone that you know sets a good example and has positive things to offer, and turn your eyes toward them.  Look at people who have overcome great obstacles, or who have survived illnesses, or who genuinely give to their communities, or something else positive.
  
• Are you trying to lose 10 pounds?  Then get the sweets out of the house.
• Trying to stop smoking?  Then don't keep a cigarette in hiding "in case of emergency".

Change may not happen overnight, but I know from personal experience that it will come.  I have done several of the things above in my own life, and I can look back and see that I am not the same person I was years ago.  And I'm glad!  I could have stayed where I was, but I like to aim to do better, and in order to do so, I had to change my surroundings.   It isn't just about getting rid of the negative influences, but it is also about replacing them with positive influences.  Sometimes the changes take getting use to, but they're worth it, and you'll soon start to enjoy them!  Why don't you give it a try for yourself?

Someday Never Comes

How is 2009 going for everybody?  

Just a little food for thought to share with everyone.

If you are in your 30's or 40's, you can probably look back and remember things that you said you will accomplish....someday.  And if you are in your 20's, you may be saying that now.  

How many of us can admit that on a whole lot of things, our "someday" never came?

That's just it-someday usually never comes-unless you are a little girl with dreams of getting married and having children.

So!  The point is...let "someday" start today!!!

Want to learn a new craft?  Start reading up on it today.  

Want to lose weight?  Pass up on the donuts today.

Want to be an awesome cook?  Try a new recipe today.

Want to have a good savings account for emergencies?  Pass up on Starbucks today and put the money in the bank.

Want to stop smoking?  Smoke one cigarette less today.

Want something else?  Spend 10 minutes thinking about it and looking at what you can do about it today, and then dive in!

There will always be things to distract you from your goals, so it takes some effort.  But it will be worth it!  

When the children are older, I will.....

When I have more free time, I will.....

When I have more money, I will.....

You may not be able to do ALL the things you want without more money, more free time, of when the children are small, but you can still do SOME things!  

Read up on your interests, save $5 here and there, spend 10 minutes before bed, or get up 10 minutes earlier to get started on your long time goal.

If you start today and even do just a little bit every day/week, you can look back in one year, and be encouraged that you are closer to your desired accomplishments, and you have a much better chance of reaching them!  

Inventory

If we reflect on the posts from the past, hopefully we've all found something helpful to make our paths a little easier.  Starting the day cheerfully during the morning rush, not spreading ourselves too thin, decluttering our lives of murmuring, complaining and holding grudges, and making some wrongs right by saying I'm sorry are plenty of things to work on!  

Maybe to gain a little more motivation to keep moving our lives in a more positive direction, here is a thought that can really wake you!

Take inventory!

Ask yourself this question~

Who is in charge?

You are the only person you are working on, so look at your weak points, and see how you are doing.  You can fill this in with any word you want, and if you are honest with yourself, you can see where you need to work on you.

Who is in charge....

Do you control your job, or does your job control you?

Do you control food, or does food control you?

Do you control your money, or does your money control you?

Do you control your finances(not the same as the last question-give it some thought), or do your finances control you?

Do you control your temper, or does your temper control you?

Do you control your home, or does your home control you?

Do you control your procrastination, or does procrastination control you?

Do you control your habits, or do your habits control you?

This list could go on and on!  I know the areas that I need to say OUCH!  :)

So if the lights come on, and you realize there is a place that is controlling you, and you are not in control, what can you do if you want to change it?  

If you haven't read the past posts in this blog, read the archives.  There are several ideas that can be very helpful.

If you have read the past posts, skim the archives and pick what might help you-there are several things that can benefit your goals and what you are trying to gain control of.  

On the Flip Side of the Coin

I recently posted about decluttering complaining and grudges from our lives.

There is another side to this coin....

It's ok, and even necessary to say "I'm sorry" sometimes.

If you are a grudge holder, and are human, you have probably done someone wrong yourself.  I've actually met people that cannot say those two words.

Apologizing may not be decluttering, but it definately lifts a heaviness from our lives.  So I guess you are decluttering a heavy burden.

Why can't people say those two words?  There are two reasons I can think of:

1. Pride.  Some people just cannot humble themselves to say those two words.  Do they think that it makes them look bad?  I am not sure.  They will allow friendships and relationships to end because they are too proud to say they were wrong.  
2. They see no wrong in themselves.  There are others who are very critical of everyone all around them, but see no wrong in themselves.  They will go for years without making amends with family members or former friends because they just cannot see that they are as human as the rest of us.  

By the way, in my own opinion, saying "I apologize" is not the same as saying "I'm sorry".  The first sounds obligatory, the second sounds humble.

Do you fit one of these categories?  

If you do, why not take a deeper look at your own faults, humble yourself, and find out how good it feels to say those two small words.  Yes, it's hard for all of us to work up the courage to apologize, but some of us push past the hard part and do what is right anyway.  And yes, it is right to apologize when we've wronged someone.

Apologizing absolutely includes family members!  There are times I have been wrong toward my husband and my children, and I will tell them those two little words because they are worth it to me.

And by the way, when I see another person apologize, it makes them a little taller in my eyes.

Make sure humility and sincerity towards others is part of your life.  Apologize when necessary, and mean it. 

In Memory of Nicholas

Today I am dedicating all of my blogs to our friend, Nicholas.  

Nicholas went home to Jesus two years ago today, on a very snowy day, in a car accident due to treacherous weather conditions.  

A young man, 18 years old, full of life and potential that we all could see, with his gifts of humor, music, and comical nature.  

For being so young, you could see that Nicholas was a go-getter.  He was one that, if he wanted to learn something, he did it!  Especially with music!   To have half of his talent-what a blessing that would be!  

We miss you, Nicholas!  When we get to heaven, we won't remember the pain down here, but we'll have an incredible family reunion!  And we're longing for that sweet day! 

Another Kind of Decluttering

This blog has talked about less being more, and how much more you can focus on what is important when you don't have clutter in your lives.

In case you haven't thought about it, there are other kinds of clutter that might get overlooked.  I'd like to address one or two of them.  These are very important to get out of your life.

1. Complaining and murmuring.  

There are two sides of complaining-the one doing it, and the one who has to listen to it.  

Have you ever worked with a chronic complainer?  There is always something wrong with just about everything!  It's too hot, it's too cold, the salad bar at the restaurant isn't fresh enough, my steak isn't cooked to perfection, and on and on and on.  

Guess what?  We don't, and never will, live in a perfect world.  I am not perfect, you are not perfect, and we will not reach perfection in every area of life.  I realize that there are times that some things bother us.  Sometimes I think some things are understandable.  But when it's a habit, that's another story!

Whatever happened to being thankful?  How about not complaining to the waitress if your meal took 5 minutes too long to make, and thank God you live in a country with an abundance of food!  If your package from the post office arrived one day later than expected, and it wasn't for anything of great importance, why not be thankful you didn't have to drive clear across the country to pick it up yourself?

If your hair didn't fix perfect for work this morning, be grateful you have hair!  

If your boss was a little grouchy today, still be thankful that you have a job!

You get the idea.  If you constantly look at the negative, you won't gain much ground, or it will be much harder to gain ground.  You've got a defeated additude working on you.

So if you are a complainer, make it a point to stop!  Look at what is good.  Think of what you can be thankful for.

As for murmuring, that is the bosom buddy of complaining.  Have you ever noticed folks that always have to add murmuring to every sentence?  Things like, "Oh crud!"  Oh, man!"  "Shoot!"  You know, used the wrong way, even "Sugar!" can be a murmuring!  Just get out of the habit of murmuring and complaining.  Not only is it not good for you, it is not enjoyable for those who have to listen to you.

2.  Letting go of grudges.

Have you ever met someone who is always having issues with other people?  Maybe you've grown up in a home where Mom and Dad are always cutting someone out of their lives because of something they did that was wrong.

Who do grudges really hurt?  

Some things are definately hard to get over, but if you really want to get over them, ask God to help you, and look back at your own imperfect life.   There are things I've done that have hurt other people that I wish I could go back and undo.  But I can't--I have to let them know I'm sorry, hope they will forgive me, and try to not do it again.  If you are honest with yourself, there are things you wish you could undo also.  

When you are 35 years old, it is rather dumb to hold a grudge against an 18 year old who wronged you.  I'm just addressing regular things-they said something unkind, or showed disrespect, or made some bad decisions.  A young adult doesn't have near the experience we do as 30-40 year olds-remember they are still developing, and are coming out from under the protection of a family that helped them with their decisions.  Give them a break!  

If someone treated you wrong, give them the benefit of the doubt!  

A few years back, my dad was very sick and we didn't know if he was going to live.  Travelling back and forth from Pennsylvania to Ohio to be at the hospital with him over a 21 day period, I was very stressed!  I don't remember what was said, but I remember snapping at my husband, even tho it had nothing to do with him---the pressures I felt had just gotten to me!  Thankfully he didn't hold a grudge and refuse to talk to me ever again!  But you know, there really are people that are like that!  One wrong move, and the friendship is OVER!

Why not try to put yourself in their shoes?  Were they facing some situation that was overwhelming?  Were they young and didn't have as much experience in life as you, so they said some dumb know-it-all things?  Or maybe they were just being human?

Let's calm down and try 10 times harder to get along!  Let go of grudges-they can ruin your life.  If you ever meet a bitter, cold, angry person that can't get along with anyone, and always finds fault with everyone, then chances are you will have met someone who is a grudgeholder.  Do you want to be like that too?

Getting rid of complaining and holding grudges really does fit into the "Less is More" category!  I hope everyone will work on it today!

  

Remembering Your Skills and Talents

If there are things we are struggling to change in our lives, it is easy to beat ourselves up when we fail to meet our new goals when we intended.  It isn't encouraging and moving you in the right direction when you are criticizing yourself.  If you think of yourself as losing, or as a loser, you tend to talk yourself into failing.  

If this describes you, take a few minutes to think of the skills you do have.  

There was a time when I was feeling down on myself, and I stopped to think of the things I could do.  I was amazed at how many things I really could do, and it lifted my spirits.  All of us can do this little exercise. 

Can you cook well?

Can you change a flat tire?  

Can you fix your own car?

Do you have a reputation for being a peacemaker with contentious people?

Do you know how to make a stranger feel like an instant friend?

Can you sew?

Can you cross-stitch, crochet, knit, make beautiful floral arrangements, or do some other craft?

Can you type?

Can you speak another language?

Can you play an instrument?

Think of what else you can do.

When you think of the things you know how to do, I think you'll be surprised when you realize how many things there really are!

Hopefully, this will be an encouragement to reach forward for new goals and lessons, because you are capable!  :)